How To Live Your Life Easier

Helping people is an act that everyone thought the best thing to do. But helping the wrong people or helping in a wrong way will only make it worst.

Here are some of the things I learned in life about how a help should be given

All my years in my life I love to help other people when I thought they need it. I always find a way to help them improve their lives in any way I can. I even would like to let them stay in my home if I can, but things doesn't work easily with that. So I would just give them the support they needed in every way I can. I thought it was the right thing to do. I am concerned with everybody, and how things would work with their lives. I feel sorry if sometimes I can't offer them any help. I thought the greatest thing in life was helping others. Because it is what the society taught us. I felt happy whenever someone told me that I've been their good friend and that they took my advise. But all of this was wrong. Sometimes my help will end up a chaos. The only thing I want was to help but it ended up worst. Until
I was inspired by Cammi Pham and thought I could share my own experience and thoughts about it.

Being a human, it is normal that we feel unappreciated and taken for granted whenever someone didn't value the help we offered. We often thought we don't expect something in return but deep inside we wanted to feel valued and appreciated. We want them to at least thank us for it. But things doesn't always work that way all the time, and it's a reality. It's not being them a dumb to treat you that way. It's you that you allow them to treat you that way. 

1. Don't help if someone didn't ask for it.

It's like teaching someone to swim even if you don't know how. It will only make them drown. So stop helping if you can't offer the best solution for them or if they didn't ask for it. Not helping is better than trying to offer help which you can't provide. Things will only make worst and you'll just hurt yourself if someone blames you for it. You will just feel bad about yourself and it can ruin a relationship.

At home, I do chores everyday. I do everything I could to maintain it. I obliged myself to do it because I thought it was the right thing to do to help my family. I thought I was helping but I was not. I will only make a way to make other people lazy and to be dependent. And that's not helping at all. So I stopped doing it. I focused on doing other things that matter most. I started running my own errands and make a lot of time and effort to improve myself and focus on my goal.  And because of that, I became more productive.

Start doing yourself a favor. It's not being selfish, it is being practical and realistic. You're not a super hero to accommodate everything under your control.

2. Help the right person

Helping the right person is an act where you can actually offer a real help to someone. Someone who is willing to help themselves too. If you're an expert at something and you thought you can share it with others, its OK to show your concern. But don't push them to accept it if they don't want to. Remember, help is reciprocal. One should help you for you to be able to help them too. Don't allow anybody to define you as a person whom they can take everything from. They will only drain you and you'll end up suffering in pain of being taken for granted. Help the person who really mean to ask you for it. 

3. Don't worry too much on the things you can't control.

The only thing in this world you can control is yourself. Stop being anxious about how will things will end up. Anxiety leads to depression which will only cause you stress. And being stressful about the things you can't control is like stopping the sun from rising in the morning and collecting the air with your hands. It's difficult to lessen your concern to someone means so much to you. It's a human nature to be involved in someone's life. We live because we're connected with each other. But too much of it is wrong. Don't be too attached that you forget to live your own life. You can't control their mind, their feelings, their actions and thoughts. 

You need to accept the fact that not everything will take it's place according to your plan. Especially if it's the life of others you're writing. 

Don't be obsessed about dealing with others as if you're physically attached to them. It's OK to give help with one of your hands. But keep the other hand for yourself.

Being helpful is good on a certain situation, certain times, certain people. But being too helpful is bad as well.